PTB's Writing Challenge 2013
by Ironic Twist
Summary: 52 challenges in 52 weeks. An attempt to flex my creative muscle and improve my writing. Pairings and ratings will vary - but you'd be safe to assume at least 90% E&B. Unrelated one shots, unless something really fits. Constructive criticism encouraged!
1. Rocky Horizons -- Challenge 1

Challenge Number: #1 – Rocky Horizons  
Date Posted: 01/21/2013  
Fandom: Twilight  
Rating: T  
Genre: Romance  
Content Descriptors: Fluff  
Character Pairing: Bella & Edward

**Rocky Horizons**

Bella took several confident steps towards the outcropping of rock before dropping down and sliding the last few inches needed to get the shot she wanted. If anyone had told her five years ago that this is where she'd be today, she'd have thought they were crazy.

* * *

_Bella's mother, Renee, was always taking up some harebrained hobby. Bella still had a closet full of votives that smelled more like Pine-Sol than pine tree from Renee's candle making phase. She'd made costume jewelry for a summer, but gave that up when she couldn't bear to sell any of her creations. She'd fizzled on wine making when she realized the soil around her home wasn't good for growing grapes. You name it, Renee had tried it: macramé, knitting, stained glass, painting, photography, the list was endless._

_Unlike the detritus from Renee's other hobbies: half used tubes of oil paint, balls of yarn, colorful crystals…the unused equipment from the photography days was useful. In an unusually thoughtful burst of energy, scatterbrained Renee had carefully packed up the Nikon, its extra lenses, the camera case and other miscellaneous items and sent them off to Bella while she was in her freshman year at UDub._

_Bella had dreamed of being a journalist ever since she was old enough to put crayon to paper. She was pursuing her dream of becoming an international correspondent by carrying a double major—Journalism and Anthropology—when the package from Renee had arrived._

_Curious, Bella had opened the box and eyed the expensive equipment inside. She had shaken her head; Bella was much more a point-and-shoot kind of girl, really. The eight-megapixel camera in her cell phone was all the photography equipment she needed. She slid the box and its contents into the back of her closet, called her mom to thank her, and promptly forgot about it._

_A few months later, Bella was enjoying a private weekend in her dorm room with her new boyfriend, thanks to her own roommate's trip home for her mother's 50th birthday. Mike was a nice guy. Good looking in an all-American boy way, with short blond hair and bright blue eyes. He was fun to be around and didn't take himself too seriously. Despite the fact they were more than halfway through their freshman year, Mike still had no idea which major appealed to him._

_"I think the class will be fun." Mike was badgering Bella to take a photography class with him in the fall. Bella's schedule was packed with requirements, but she had room for one elective. She just wasn't sure she wanted to commit to a class for a guy she'd only been seeing for a few weeks. In the end, she dug out the photography equipment and agreed._

_Turns out it was the best decision of her life…for so many reasons._

_Bella discovered that she had a natural talent for photography. She saw the best angles, the clearest shots, and the most pleasing arrangements with ease. While others struggled with delicate equipment, lighting issues, and exposure timing, Bella sailed through the course requirements effortlessly._

_Unfortunately, her relationship with Mike wasn't as easily navigated. Truthfully, Bella never felt more than fondness for the good-looking young man. After doing the long distance thing over the summer, Bella realized she had no serious feelings for Mike. When he tried to convince her to cancel her housing and move into an apartment with him for sophomore year, she realized that they weren't on the same wavelength relationship-wise. She broke up with him a week before the semester started._

_Not surprisingly, the photography class was uncomfortable. Mike insisted on sitting right next to her when he arrived for their first class together, even though there were plenty of seats around the U-shaped arrangement of tables. Bella gritted her teeth and focused on the professor-right until the auburn haired hottie in very well fitting jeans sauntered into the room and took a seat right across from her. One look and she was smitten._

_When the hottie looked up and caught her staring, he offered her an insolent grin. Instead of looking away, Bella cocked her head and smiled in return. He looked away first._

_"Bella? Bella?"_

_"Hmmm?"_

_"The professor said we needed to pair up for the project. Should I just come to your place?"_

_"Mike, I don't think that working together is a good idea. We broke up. You should find another partner."_

_Encouraged by their silent exchanged earlier, Bella made an uncharacteristically bold move and approached the gorgeous man across from her. As it turned out, Edward Cullen liked women who went for what they wanted._

* * *

"How's the angle, babe?"

"It's perfect! Come up and take a look."

Bella and Edward dated all the way through undergrad, if you didn't count the two week misunderstanding near the end of their junior year. After graduation Bella joined Edward for a two week visit to his parents in Washington. Not only did she fall in love with the grey skies, green trees, and blue water of the Olympic Peninsula, but with Edward's parents as well.

Ultimately, they decided to settle just outside Seattle. This made it easier for Edward to put his business degree to use, while Bella made a name for herself with pictures in the local papers. They were close enough to his parents that they made frequent trips to the tiny town of Forks and often visited the beaches of nearby La Push.

It was during one of these visits that they learned that the local tourism board was looking to revamp their literature. Bella presented her portfolio to the head of the board and was offered the job.

"On my way!"

Bella snapped a few more shots over the edge of the rocky promontory before settling back. It was just a moment later that Edward joined her on the rocks.

"It's almost criminal to take money for this," Bella commented. "The scenery is incredible."

"Yes, it is," Edward agreed, never taking his eyes off her.

Bella blushed and then rolled her eyes.. She'd been with this incredible man for four years…done all kinds of dirty things to him without hesitation and allowed him to do the same to her, but he could still make her blush with a sweet word.

Edward chuckled. He got a kick out of her reaction to him.

Leaning forward, Bella kissed Edward. Their lips met softly in lingering kisses. She found herself scooting forward to get closer. She moved her hand to his neck and shivered a bit when his hand slid down her other arm until he was drawing circles on her open palm.

He lifted her hand and, without breaking their kiss, slid a cold ring onto her finger.

Bella drew back and opened her eyes. She was immediately caught in his bright green gaze. He nodded his head slightly and Bella's eyes widened.

"Isabella Swan? I promise to love you forever—every single day of forever. Will you marry me?"

A single, breathless sound of disbelief left Bella's mouth before a glorious smile spread over her face.

"Yes."

* * *

With thanks to Shasta 53, Cejsmom, & LibbyLou.


	2. The Empty Glass -- Challenge 2

Challenge Number/Title: #2 The Empty Glass  
Date Posted: 1/27/2013  
Fandom: Twilight  
Rating: M  
Genre: AH  
Content Descriptors: Hurt/Comfort, Drama, Extreme Douchiness  
Warning: if you hate to hate Edward, this is not the story for you.  
Character Pairing: Edward & Bella

**The Empty Glass**

I held out my empty glass to Rosalie, who had just refreshed Emmett's drink. She raised her eyebrows at me and placed the pitcher she was holding down on the table with a solid thunk. Then she turned around and made her way back through the sliding glass door and into the kitchen. I didn't complain. The view of her ass as she walked away was well worth having to refill my own glass.

"I'll get it for you, Edward."

That was my soon-to-be-ex girlfriend, Bella. She took the empty glass from my hand and walked around the table. She managed to stumble over absolutely nothing, but saved herself from falling by slamming her empty hand down on the table. She glanced at me and giggled nervously. I rolled my eyes behind my Ray Bans. She refilled my drink, handed the glass to me, and then turned to follow Rosalie into the kitchen.

I didn't watch her go. The view wasn't nearly as nice as when Rose had made the same trip.

Don't get me wrong. Bella wasn't bad looking. She just didn't fill out a bikini the way my brother's girlfriend, Rose, did. Actually, she didn't fill out a bikini at all since she insisted on wearing sensible one piece bathing suits and loose running shorts to boot.

"Would 'thanks' have killed you?" Emmett asked once Bella was inside the house.

"Huh?"

"Bella. Would it have killed you to thank her for pouring your drink?"

"I didn't ask her to do it." I shrugged and leaned back on the Adirondack chair, sipping my lemonade, and enjoying the rare sunny day we were having. It was great having Em and Rose home from their junior year in college for the summer. I missed my big brother and seeing Rose was always a treat.

I could sense Emmett shaking his head beside me.

"What?" I asked, annoyed.

"You don't appreciate that girl. She's going to leave your ass one day and you'll regret it."

I let out a breathy snort. So what…she'd leave me. We were attending different colleges in the fall so as far as I was concerned, our relationship had an expiration date and it was closing in fast.

The girls came back out, talking and laughing. Rose shimmied her way over to Emmett. He opened his arms wide as she sat on his lap and slid against him. Bella glanced at me. I quickly crossed my legs so she wouldn't get any ideas. I had no interest her plopping her bony ass down on me, unless it was one of the rare times she was willing to do the work. If you know what I mean. She sat down on the bench at the table instead.

The rest of the day was pretty good. The girls laid out in the yard to catch some rays. This gave me plenty of opportunities to ogle Rose. Her blonde hair was piled on top of her head and she wore these huge sunglasses like a movie star from the 40s. Her tits spilled out of the itty bitty bikini she wore. And when she turned over—that ass. Fuck me. Lots of new images for the spank bank.

So, she's my brother's girlfriend? Sue me. I'm an eighteen-year old guy. Lusting after fuckhot women is what eighteen-year old guys do.

Later, me and Em cooked burgers while the girls made salads and shit. Rose came out of the house carrying a bowl with some gauzy scarf tied around her hips. Damn. She looked even sexier than she had in only the bikini. Bella followed with a tray in her hands. Her loose running shorts a complete turn off.

When the sun went down the bugs got intolerable so it was time to go home. Em was spending the night at Rose's since her parents were away for the weekend. Bella and I walked out to my car. I got into the driver's side and popped the locks so Bella could get in. With a wave, I peeled out of the rocky driveway, the wheels of my Volvo kicking up dust and stones.

There's this little turn off about halfway between Rose's house and Bella's house. It's secluded and despite the fact that everyone who lives in Forks has been here forever, no one seemed to know about this spot.

I shut off the car and turned toward Bella. She sat there staring at her lap. I could see a frown on her face.

"What?" I asked, annoyed already.

"I don't think this is a good idea, Edward. I…it's just…." Her eyes darted to my face before returning to her lap. "I have my period."

I huffed. Fuckin' figures. Spending the day with Rose had me all worked up.

"So I'm supposed to suffer just 'cause you're on the rag?" I asked.

"Nooo." She was almost whining. Ignoring her tone, I just looked at her until she turned to face me.

Once she met my eyes, I raised my eyebrows and nodded my head at her to say, "Let's go." Her face twisted in a frown. I gestured towards my crotch where my raging hard on was making me uncomfortable. Bella hesitated, then released her seat belt and got on her knees. I moved my seat back to give her some room to work. She leaned over the center console and unzipped my pants.

With fresh thoughts of Rose firmly in my mind, I was finished embarrassingly fast. Not that it mattered. I grimaced as Bella hung her head out the window and spit noisily into the bushes that flanked the car. My next girlfriend really had to be willing to swallow, I decided.

**4 YEARS LATER**

I nodded my head in time to the pounding music and flashing lights of Club Twilight. I had never been here before, even though it was only an hour from home. I attended college in Chicago and made every effort to stay there when breaks and holidays rolled around.

This summer was different though. This was my first time home since I was legal. Emmett was getting married in the fall and tonight we were celebrating! I was all for a guys' weekend in Vegas, but Emmett insisted on staying close to home and having a Jack and Jill Bachelor party. I snorted. Emmett was so whipped.

I signaled to the bartender and handed him my empty glass. Emmett sauntered over to me just as the bartender placed my new drink before me.

"Great party, man!" I shouted over the music. Emmett grinned and threw his arm around my shoulders. Damn, I missed my brother.

"You should get out there!" he yelled back, gesturing towards the dance floor.

I glanced to where he was pointing. I could see Rose in a painted-on red dress. She was dancing in the middle of a group of girls who I assumed were bridesmaids. I was Em's best man, but because I hadn't been around I wasn't even sure who was in the bridal party.

The crowd on the floor shifted and Rose turned her back to us. She still had an incredible ass, but what caught my attention was the girl dancing next to her. Rose had thrown her arm around the chestnut-haired beauty in blue and they were bumping hips.

Fuck me.

Rose had always been hot, but this girl was sublime and that was just from the back. Long, thick, shiny, brown hair hung halfway down her back in waves that swayed as she moved. She had a tiny waist and a perfect ass. Her shapely legs went on for miles. Her sparkly fuck me heels were calling my name.

I was so captivated that I hadn't even noticed Emmett walking away from me. I watched as he slid between Rose and the hot brunette and started dancing with them both. I stood up and slugged back my drink, putting the empty glass back on the bar. Emmett was right. I needed to get out there.

By the time I reached the dance floor, Emmett and Rose were all wrapped around one another and the brunette had disappeared. I wasn't too worried. Since she was obviously in the bridal party she'd be around here somewhere.

I walked across the club looking for the tables that were reserved for our party. I recognized one of Emmett's co-workers, Garrett, I think his name was, from my brother's Facebook pictures. He was sitting in a red velvet club chair that was next to a table marked "Reserved." A few other people, some who I recognized, some who I didn't, were seated in the same general area. No hot brunette in sparkly fuck me heels, sadly.

"Hey," I greeted Garrett as I approached the table. "You're Garrett, right? Em's friend from work?"

"That's me," he replied getting to his feet with a broad smile. He offered me his hand and we shook before we both sat down.

"Some party, huh?" I asked, trying to think of a way to find out if Garrett knew who the brunette was.

He grinned in response. "Yup."

I flagged down a passing waitress and ordered drinks for both me and Garrett. She returned in no time and placed our glasses on the table.

"Thanks, man," Garrett said, raising his glass to me. "I'm sorry; I didn't catch your name."

"I'm Edward, Emmett's brother," I offered.

A dark look flashed over Garrett's face. He stood abruptly, and walked away leaving his drink on the table.

I stared after him for a moment before shaking my head. Emmett sure had some asshole friends.

I decided to search for the brunette since she wasn't at the table. I grabbed my glass and walked the perimeter of the club until I came across the bar I had been sitting at earlier. There was a crowd hovering around, but I caught a quick glimpse of the brunette's sparkly fuck me heels as the crowd shifted.

I downed the rest of my drink and, determined, I made my way through the crowd. Yup, there she was: fuck me heels; legs that went on for miles; short, tight skirt; round hips; tiny waist. She had a phenomenal rack, too. I hadn't noticed that before, since her back had been to me.

I raised my head to look at her face. Not that it mattered. With a body like that she could have a face like bulldog and I'd still do her.

Holy shit!

Bella. The hot brunette with the sparkly fuck me heels was Bella. I hadn't seen Bella since the summer before I left for college. I knew that she and Rose remained friends. I think they were even roommates when Bella was in her sophomore year and Rose was in grad school.

I started moving toward her when Garrett suddenly appeared. He moved to Bella's side and gently pushed her hair back from her face. Bella put her hand on Garrett's chest and slid it inside his suit jacket. He slid his hands around her waist and pulled her toward him, before burying his nose in her hair. Her head dropped back as Garrett kissed up and down the side of her neck. She turned her head to the side to give him better access and our eyes met briefly. I saw recognition flicker in hers for a moment before her lids fluttered closed and she ran her hand down Garrett's arm. The movement drew my attention to her hand and the huge diamond that glittered there.

Slowly, I walked forward and placed the empty glass on the bar next to her before turning and leaving the club.

Fuck me.

* * *

With thanks to LibbyLou, Cejsmom, & Shasta53

So, is this a turning point in Edward's life? Is he even redeemable? Let me know what you think? There are 50 challenges left. Who knows, I might revisit these two.


	3. Lost in the Land of Denial -- Challenge

Challenge Number/Title: #3 Word Play: tomb, summit, cabbage, king.  
Date Posted: 2/21/2013  
Fandom: Twilight  
Rating: M  
Genre: AH?  
Content Descriptors: Supernatural/Romance, Violence, Sexuality  
Character Pairing: Edward & Bella

* * *

**Lost in the Land of Denial**

Edward eyed his oldest, dearest friend, where he lay, wrapped in a blanket to ward off the desert chill while he slept. With preternatural silence he knelt at the large man's side.

"I'm sorry, my friend," he whispered.

With exquisite care, Edward slipped the blade of his knife between Emmett's ribs. Emmett's eyes flew open, he thrashed once, but it was already too late. Edward was lethal with a blade and knew precisely how far he had to push to slice into Emmett's heart, assuring that the large man would be dead before he could resist enough to save his life. Or be a threat to Edward's.

The light in Emmett's eyes dimmed almost immediately. Still on his knees, Edward murmured a prayer for Emmett's soul before pulling his knife free; wiping it clean on the dead man's blanket, and rising to his feet.

Emmett would have understood his plight, Edward mused. While the fabled treasure of Egypt's Lost King was supposed to be nearly endless, so were Edward's debts. If he had to share the spoils with Emmett, it was unlikely he could return to the city with enough stolen gold to both pay off his creditors and maintain his preferred lifestyle.

Breaking camp, Edward started out before the sun rose, pulling the stubborn string of camels behind him. It was close to midmorning when Edward topped the summit of a large dune and gazed down at what should be the Lost King's final resting place.

He consulted the notes he had, as well as the map left to him by his father. It was his only legacy.

Edward sighed and eyed the sky. It would be several hours before the sun's position was right, allowing him to discover the hidden tomb's entrance. Edward erected a shelter and crawled inside, where he sipped warm water and stared at the ever shifting sands.

It was eight hours later when Edward's shovel finally hit something solid. The hollow thunk was the most beautiful sound he'd ever heard. He shifted sand in a frenzy, sweat pouring into his eyes despite the keffiyeh he'd donned.

It took longer than he had hoped to clear the seven foot by four foot slab that lay flat over the entrance to the subterranean tomb. Edward knew that without Emmett's superior strength, he had no chance of levering the slab off the entrance. He moved to where he had his tools and selected a chisel and large hammer.

It was another hour before he was able to crack the stone enough for it to lose cohesion. With an echoing boom, the pieces of the slab fell into the tomb's entrance and crashed down the stairs. An unpleasant odor wafted from the finally opened tomb. Edward wrinkled his nose at the rotten cabbage smell.

It only took a moment for Edward to grab a lantern and light it. Cautiously, he tested the first step down. He was heartened when it held his weight. He proceeded down, testing each step as he went.

Soon he was in a small antechamber. It was no more than twenty feet across and half that wide. The walls were covered in hieroglyphics. Edward glanced at them briefly, recognizing them as the standard ancient warnings of the penalties for disturbing the dead and looting.

Edward continued towards the only door in the room. Door was a misnomer, really. It was actually a slab tightly fitted in the opening that led further into the tomb. It would require some work before he could remove the obstacle. He returned to the surface and retrieved his chisel and hammer as well as several more lanterns. Inside, he lit the lanterns before setting his chisel against the stone slab. Warning hieroglyphs were drawn on the slab as well.

Edward paused, his eyes running over several unfamiliar glyphs. The warning on the slab wasn't a familiar one. Sighing, and cursing his curious nature, Edward returned to the surface once more and pulled out the book that would help him decipher the drawings.

More time passed as Edward puzzled over the meaning of the warning he had translated:

Raider, robber, thief beware  
Of the treasure hidden here.  
Glutton, greed, carnal state,  
Deathly rewards thee await.

Glutton? Greed? Well, if the ancients followed with tradition, foodstuffs were likely buried with the Lost King. No need to worry about those items any longer. Greed? This gave Edward hope. Greed was why he was here, after all.

He puzzled over his translation of the third glyph as "carnal." He knew the translation was shaky. The glyph referred to sexuality, but in a negative way. It wasn't lust, precisely, but something akin to it. Edward shook his head. _Enough of this scholarly pursuit_, he chided himself as he rose to his feet, ready to tackle the slab.

He was surprised by how easily the slab gave way. It took only a few swings of his hammer for it to shatter and crumble before him. A long hallway lay beyond. Taking up a lantern, he stepped over the rubble and proceeded forward. The glyphs here were different. They told the story of the Lost King's rule. Two slabs stood opposite one another halfway down the hall. A third slab stood opposite the door Edward had entered.

The glyphs around the slab to Edward's left described agricultural pursuits. Edward assumed that behind the slab would be the foodstuffs intended to tide the King over during his afterlife.

The slab to the right was surrounded by glyphs indicating the King's wealth. Edward smiled. Tomorrow he would begin his day by breaking his way in.

Edward returned to the surface and saw to the camels' basic needs. Grabbing his sleeping gear, he returned to the tomb where it would be more comfortable to sleep. The temperature was more constant underground.

As he bedded down, Edward glanced at the slab that stood at the far end of the hallway. He'd ignored this slab in his excitement at discovering the glyphs that led to the treasure room. Once again cursing his curiosity, Edward rose from his blankets and approached the door he'd neglected earlier.

He glanced at the glyphs surrounding the door. At first he wasn't sure what he was seeing. He squinted before his eyes opened wide in surprise. For a moment he wished Emmett were at his side. He was hoping for some confirmation of what he believed he was seeing.

As far as Edward could tell, he was looking over ancient Egypt's version of the Kama Sutra.

Glyphs describing sexual acts of all kinds, in great detail, surrounded the slab covering the entrance to this room. Several of the descriptions were quite detailed. Edward retrieved his books of glyphs to further clarify their meanings.

As he read, his curiosity grew. What could be behind the slab here? Had they entombed the King's wives and concubines? It wasn't unheard of.

Edward continued to decipher glyphs. He could feel himself stirring as the erotic nature of the markings painted a detailed picture in his mind. He ran his hand over the cool stone contemplating the fetishes and debauchery depicted.

His thoughts were wrenched unpleasantly by a sound coming from behind him. He spun on his heel. In the dim light of the lantern, he could barely make out a figure crouched over his pallet. Drawing his knife, Edward crept forward stealthily.

The figure remained near his blankets, seemingly unaware of his approach. Edward shifted, hoping to come up behind the intruder. Unfortunately, the movement caused his shadow to shift. The person before him started to turn. Edward lifted his knife and drove it toward the intruder.

A piercing scream ripped through the still night air. Edward recognized the voice as female and checked his slash a split second before making contact with the woman's flesh. He gasped as the adrenaline in his system was denied the release of a fight.

"Fuck!" Edward exclaimed, tensing up and staring at the woman before him. She cowered before his fear and rage.

"Who the hell are you?" he demanded.

She ducked her head but remained silent.

"I asked you a question. Who are you?" he raged.

A small, fearful sound escaped the woman.

"Dammit," Edward growled, reaching forward and grasping the woman by one arm. He pulled her closer to him, roughly. She stumbled and fell against him. Edward registered the soft feel of her arm in his grip and her breasts against his chest. With great effort, he reigned in his fury and fear and exhaled forcefully.

"Who are you?" he asked again, curiosity, not anger, colored his tone this time. The timid woman looked up at him.

"My name is Bektamun."

Her voice was lyrical…a veritable song on her lips. And what lips they were. Edward was instantly aware of her full pink mouth. Her deep, brown eyes were heavily lined with kohl, so they appeared exotic. Her long, dark hair was drawn away from her face by a golden headband from which a single green jewel hung. Her arms were bare. She wore a sheath of muslin that clung to her slim body.

Edward cleared his throat. "What are you doing here, Bektamun?"

"I'm here for you."

"What?" Edward shoved the woman away roughly, but she kept her feet beneath her. "What does that mean?"

"You've breached the tomb, I am your reward." Her voice was without guile, as if they were discussing the weather.

Edward snorted. "I have no need of a slave girl. My reward is right behind that slab," he said, pointing to the slab that covered the entrance to the treasure room.

The girl flushed and drew herself up to her full height. "I am no slave girl," she informed him. "I am Bektamun, daughter of the King."

"King? What the hell are you talking about?"

"You've breached the tomb. Only one of great intelligence, cunning, and skill could have done that. You deserve a reward. I am here for you."

Edward shook his head, trying to clear it of her musical voice.

"What do you mean by that?

A sly smile slid over Bektamun's features. Edward watched as she dropped to her knees before him. He startled when he felt the woman move between his legs, her hands sliding up his thighs. He jumped even higher when her hands went to his belt buckle and began to tug.

"Relax, Edward. Let me demonstrate my admiration for you."

It never occurred to him to ask her how she knew his name.

Bektamun had made short work of the fastenings on Edward's pants.

She reached into Edward's undergarments and slid her warm hand around his cock. Pulling it free, she began to stroke him.

Wasting no time, Bektamun took him into her mouth and pushed forward until he felt the back of her throat at the tip of his cock. Her mouth was warm and slick. Edward felt a brief contraction as she swallowed around him, squeezing his length in long undulations, before beginning to suck rhythmically.

His fought the urge to close his eyes and throw his head back. His arms moved anxiously to her head. He dug his fingers into her hair. She moaned around him, encouraging him to control her movements for his pleasure.

"Fuck…." Edward hissed. Bektamun's mouth had brought him to the brink already. He made no attempt to stop her as he approached his climax. Using some mysterious sixth sense, she began to suck harder.

Unable to control himself, Edward threw his head back, squeezed his eyes shut, and gasped loudly as he orgasmed. He felt himself pulsing as Bektamun swallowed around him. Spent, Edward allowed his hands to drop to his sides, while Bektamun licked at him, cleaning him off before rising back to her feet.

"Will you take me now?"

Edward was startled by her query. He was approaching the end of his fourth decade of a hard life. He needed more time to get it up than he used to. He gazed at the gorgeous woman before him, however, and felt his member stirring at the sight of her breasts straining against the fabric of her dress.

Edward gestured that Bektamun should lie down on his pallet. He walked over to his supplies and found a canteen. It was empty. He shook it and tossed it to the side before reaching for another.

A sensual moan interrupted his search for water. He turned and looked at Bektamun. She had removed her dress and was now sitting naked on his pallet. More startling, she was touching her nipples with her fingertips. As he watched, she brought her fingers to her mouth and licked them, before spreading the moisture over her nipples and tugging on them.

Edward returned to his pallet and dropped down next to her.

"Touch me," she whispered, jutting her chest forward in offering.

Edward didn't respond and Bektamun made a moue. Rising to her knees, she leaned closer and ran her tongue around the shell of his ear. She sucked lightly on the lobe, before raising her hands to his shoulders and trailing them down his chest.

As she brought her hands back up, she unbuttoned Edward's shirt and pushed it open. Sliding her hand inside, she stroked along his ribs and abdomen. Edward suddenly came alive, grabbing her hand to stop her.

Bektamun leaned back and Edward released her. She ran her hand down her flat stomach and between her spread legs. She dipped a finger between her folds and raised the now glistening digit to his mouth. She traced the moisture along his lips. Involuntarily, his tongue darted out, tasting her.

"I desire you so, Edward."

Edward's eyes burned with fire. Bektamun resumed undressing him, pushing his open pants down past his knees. This time he didn't fight her.

Bektamun straddled Edward's legs and reached down to position him at her entrance. Slowly, she lowered herself onto him. He hissed once she was fully seated. She rotated her hips in a slow figure eight, teasing him with low moans and mutterings of her own. Finally, Edward could take no more of her teasing. He grasped her hips tightly, stilling her on his lap. She met his eyes and saw his desire.

Bektamun smiled broadly, before rising up and plunging back down. She continued to move.

"Touch me," she breathed.

As Bektamun bounced up and down on Edward's cock, he slid one hand around her neck and then down her chest. Lowering his head he took one nipple lightly between his teeth before laving his tongue over it.

Bektamun hissed and buried her hands in his hair. "Oh, Edward…" she moaned.

Edward snaked his hand between them where they were joined and quickly found her swollen clit.

"Oh…," she breathed.

He wiggled his finger back and forth, gathering her wetness before bringing his finger to her lips and smearing her juice there. He pulled her head to his and kissed her bowlike mouth, tasting her.

Bektamun's rhythm faltered and Edward felt her pulse around him. He slid his hands around her hips and encouraged her to rock against him, prolonging her pleasure. With a shuddering breath, she prepared to resume fucking him, but he stopped her with a gentle tug.

"Stand up," he rasped.

Bektamun complied, stepping back to give Edward room to move. He stood up and pushed her gently, so that she turned around. Smirking, Bektamun lowered her head to the blanket and raised her ass towards him.

He stroked the globes of her ass, marveling at the perfect softness of her skin. She looked over her shoulder and offered him a wicked grin, which he returned before spreading her open with his hands and lining himself up with her entrance.

He leaned forward, sliding into her in one gentle stroke. They both moaned before Edward drew back and plunged in again.

Bektamun whimpered.

"Fuck!" Edward pulled out and slammed back into her, eliciting an involuntary grunt.

"Yesss!" she hissed. Encouraged, Edward thrust again. Bektamun pushed back, rubbing her ass over his belly. He gripped her hips, pushing her away before yanking her back again. Edward set a punishing pace. His first orgasm had dulled his urgency a bit, and he knew he could last a long time. Reaching around, he slid his fingers to where they were joined and circled her clit fast.

Bektamun made an incoherent sound and continued to push back against him. Edward bent over and kissed along her spine, all the while driving himself into her. Bektamun raised her hips, altering the angle a bit. Edward's next thrust elicited a muffled scream as she buried her face in his blankets.

On and on they went. Bektamun lost the blankets at some point and her moans and gasps were music to his ears. Soon, she began to rhythmically pulse around him. She let out a low keening wail before her walls began clamping down on his cock.

Her release triggered his own. He gave a roaring bellow before collapsing over her.

Sweaty and sated, Edward stood up, pulling his softening cock from her dripping pussy. Bektamun popped up from underneath him and turned to face him. Reaching down, she gathered some of the moisture dripping down her thighs on her fingers and brought them to her mouth.

"Mmmm…." She made a show of relishing every drop. Edward stared dumbly at her erotic display before collapsing on the pallet.

"Gods, Bektamun, you're going to kill me."

Bektamun's eyes widened briefly at his statement. She offered him a shaky smile before stepping closer and kissing him. Weariness overwhelmed him and his eyes slid shut.

* * *

When Edward awoke, he was momentarily confused. The unfamiliar space was full of shadows as the rising sun slanted into the room. He was in the Lost King's tomb. He'd come here to plunder the treasure. Edward rose to his feet but a wave of dizziness overcame him. He dropped back to his knees waiting for the feeling to pass.

"Edward?" Bektamun's voice drifted to him from behind. He turned to look at her. She remained unclothed from their time together the previous night. Her long dark hair hung over her shoulders. Her dusky nipples peek through the disheveled strands, mesmerizing him. He felt himself stir.

She smiled and approached him.

Bektamun was able to coax two rounds from him in the morning and another in the late afternoon.

The next morning, Edward woke up feeling terrible. He was exhausted, had a headache, and his joints were sore. Bektamun stroked his hair, easing the pain in his head until he fell asleep once more.

* * *

The next morning, Bektamun greeted Edward with great enthusiasm. "I thought you'd never wake," she breathed once the two broke apart from a passionate kiss.

Bektamun gave him an intent-laden look. She lay on her back, spread her legs, and beckoned him forward.

"No, no, on your knees. Face down on the blanket. Put that gorgeous ass in the air for me."

Bektamun's eyes widened, but she did as Edward asked. He rose over to her and ran his hand over her back and ass. He pinched her cheeks and slapped her lightly. Bektamun started, but settled down quickly with no complaint.

"You like that, don't you? You like it when I spank your ass, don't you?"

She offered a small nod for an answer.

"Tell me. Tell me you like it."

Bektamun groaned. "I like it when you strike me."

"Do you want me to do it again?"

"Yes."

Edward slapped her ass again enjoying the way her warm skin felt under his hands. He slid a hand between her legs and was gratified at the wetness he felt.

"You really like that, don't you?" Bektamun mumbled incoherently, but the sentiment was there. She did like it.

Edward inserted two fingers into her warm, wet pussy and trailed the moisture over her ass and down the crack between her cheeks. When he touched her puckered opening, she jumped, but didn't pull away.

"I want you here," he said, swirling his finger around her back entrance.

"Yes, gods yes."

Edward plunged his fingers back into Bektamun's pussy and spread the moisture around her other entrance. Once she was good and wet, he slowly and carefully inserted a slick finger into her body.

The sensation was incredible. She was so tight this way. Edward wasn't sure he could even get his cock into her. He worked his finger in and out, enjoying the strength of her clenching muscles. He pulled his finger out and she groaned in protest.

Edward licked the fingers of his other hand and slowly introduced two where there had been only one before. Bektamun reacted by wriggling her ass and making excited sounds. It was Edward's turn to groan.

He pulled his fingers out and quickly shoved his cock into Bektamun's pussy, causing her to gasp in surprise. Once…twice he thrusted, thoroughly wetting his cock in her juices. He pulled out, and then brought his tip to her back entrance.

Slowly, he pressed forward. He found the initial resistance daunting and began to doubt the soundness of his plan. Bektamun raised her ass a little higher and pressed back against him, allowing him to slip the tip past the strong muscle at her entrance.

They both hissed at the sensation. Encouraged, Edward pressed forward, inch by inch, until he was finally fully seated in her ass.

Bektamun wiggled a bit, encouraging him to move.

Edward started with short, gentle thrusts. He marveled at the incredibly tight passage and kept his pace slow so that he could prolong this experience.

With her urging, he increased his pace and the force of his thrusts, until he was slamming into her with the same intensity he used when fucking her pussy.

He could feel her fingers playing with herself.

Another thrust was all it took. Edward came hard, digging his fingertips into Bektamun's hips.

"Ah…oh fuck! Damn!" Edward was still reeling, when he heard Bektamun's exclamations as her orgasm overtook her.

He took a deep breath and pulled away, but she reached for him and pulled him close to her chest. He nuzzled down against her breasts. She smoothed his hair and he felt his eyes grow heavy.

He awoke several hours later to the amazing sensation of Bektamun sucking on his cock. He was hard and hot in her mouth while she alternated between lollipop licks and hard sucks, like she was trying to drain his seed right out of him.

He reached down and tangled his hand in her hair. Bektamun acknowledged his touch with a hum that nearly sent him over the edge. He hissed and moaned as her sharp teeth teased his tip, before she plunged down, swallowing around him. Bektamun really set to work then, determined to make him cum hard and fast.

She was successful. She swallowed around his jerking cock, drinking down all his essence. Once he was done and began to soften, she crawled back up his body and settled down against him. Her eyes seemed to flash, even in the dim light.

Sleepy and sated, Edward drifted off to sleep once again.

When Edward awoke the next day, he was surprised to see the sun was high in the sky. He groaned as he tried to rise from the pallet, but the effort was too much for him. As he settled back down, he felt Bektamun stir against him.

He turned his head to see her. Bektamun smiled a wide grin. She held her arms open and Edward feasted his eyes on her full breasts and the gentle curve of her waist and hips. His erection sprang to life.

He clumsily climbed on top of her and began to probe between her legs with the tip of his cock.

"Bektamun, you could make a man lose his mind."

"I want you, Edward. All of you." Her words spurred him on. He was delighted as his cock slid home.

"Take me, Edward." Edward did just that, rutting over her body, while she whispered into his ear.

"So good…. I need you, Edward. Give me all you have."

Her encouragement made him move faster and faster. He could feel his orgasm building. She was taking him to heights he'd never attained before. Just when he thought he'd explode, she'd say something else, driving him to a never before achieved apex.

His balls tightened, and he grunted. He could go no further, give her no more. She screamed as he exploded inside her. He'd never felt this level of bliss before. He was almost delirious in his release. Suddenly, just as he began to come down from his impossible high, a crushing pain struck in the center of his chest.

Edward gasped, his hand flying to his sternum. Despite the worst pain ever in his life, he was still rampant inside Bektamun.

"Bektamun," he croaked. He stared down into her face. She was looking at him with curious, almost expectant eyes. She tilted her head.

As his dehydrated body gave out, Edward exhaled a final, shuddering breath. He collapsed on top of Bektamun, his cock deflating as the light fled his eyes.

Bektamun's face twisted into a look of disgust. She shoved Edward's still body off her and rose to her feet.

"Thief!" she hissed. She spat on Edward's body and kicked sand at him. She threw back her head and shook out her hair, proud of her success in protecting her father's final resting place. She pulled on her discarded dress before walking the length of the hallway. Her hands trailed over the warning glyphs that covered the walls.

Finally reaching the farthest door, she fell to her knees and sighed. As the sound faded in the hallway, her body shimmered and faded from this world.

* * *

With thanks to cejsmom, shasta53, and libbylou


	4. If Only She Knew -- Challenge 5

Challenge Number/Title: #5 The Limerick  
Date Posted: 2/25/2013  
Fandom: Twilight  
Rating: M  
Genre: AH  
Character pairing and descriptors have been moved to the bottom to eliminate spoilers. I can tell you that this is angsty. No violence.

**If Only She Knew**

~~CONGRATULATIONS EDWARD & BELLA~~

I took a few steps back to check to make sure the sign was straight.

"A little higher on your side," I directed one of the busboys, Jacob, I think. He was angling for a promotion to server so had volunteered to come in early and set up the back of the restaurant for tonight's big celebration.

"Better?" he asked, as he pulled on the string that hoisted the white and silver banner towards the ceiling.

"Yes. You can come down."

Jacob tied off the string before hopping off the chair and sliding it back under the table which was already set for dinner. He walked over to me.

"Looks good," he commented. "You really outdid yourself. Chef's going to be impressed."

I smiled and nodded noncommittally. I, more than anyone, knew exactly how grateful Edward would be for my efforts today.

A loud babble of voices drew my attention to the entrance. I watched as Chef's sister Alice, her husband, Jasper, sous chef Rose, and her husband Emmett, piled into the room. I could see Alice's eyes scan the set up looking for anything undone or out of place, her hands resting on her ponderous belly. She'd find nothing. I had attended to every detail personally and knew that everything from the flowers, to the polished settings, to the tiny plates of chocolates gathered in the middle of each table, was perfectly arranged.

Alice caught my eye and nodded her head. I offered a small smile and a nod of my own in reply. It was likely the only acknowledgement I'd get from her. Pregnancy had made her bitchy. Well, bitchier than usual.

I'd worked at Il Cigno Bella longer than anyone else. I'd actually worked here when it was simply called La Bella Italia. The name was changed when Chef proposed to his longtime girlfriend, Isabella Swan. I'd been instrumental at changing over all the menus, the advertising, the signage…it had all been me. Bella cried when she saw what her fiancé had done for her.

So had I.

"You've outdone yourself, Riley," Emmett boomed, coming over and clapping me on the shoulder. "This looks great!"

I winced. "Thank you, Emmett. It was nothing, really."

"Not nothing," Emmett's wife, Rose, interjected. "We'll be sure to let Edward know that this evening couldn't have happened without you. You're a great friend."

"Thank you, Rose." They both smiled at me, before wandering away to settle into their seats.

The engagement party was Alice's idea. She'd been badgering her brother to make an "honest woman" out of Bella for years. If only she knew. Bella and Edward were "saving themselves" for marriage.

I chuckled, though there was very little about this situation that was funny.

"Riley." Alice's husband, Jasper, appeared before me. He held out a bottle of Schrader Cellars Old Sparky Beckstoffer To Kalon Vineyard Cabernet Sauvignon. My favorite. Jasper was a wine broker. He and Alice had met right in this very restaurant, when she was a server for her brother, and he was making a cold call hoping to secure Edward's business. Needless to say, he was successful in adding Il Cigno Bella to his list of clients. I'd always liked him.

"Please, accept this token of my gratitude. I really appreciate you handling all the details on this for Alice."

"No thanks are necessary, Jasper. I love them, too." He pushed the bottle towards me anyway. I accepted it graciously. It was my favorite, after all.

Another commotion brought my attention to the doorway. Edward and Alice's parents, Dr. and Mrs. Cullen, had arrived, along with Bella's father, Chief Swan, his girlfriend, Sue, Bella's mother, Renee and her mother's husband, Phil. That was my cue to depart. The house would be busy tonight and it was my job to make sure that no one realized that neither Chef nor his second were in the kitchen this evening.

I kept tabs on the party throughout the evening so I was there to hear Emmett offer his best man's toast:

There once was a girl named Bella,  
Who fell for a real handsome fella'.  
He fell to one knee  
And said, "Marry me,  
And I'll keep you in fresh panzanella!"

Edward and Bella grinned, while the guests in the room burst into laughter. I shuddered. Emmett was a nice guy, but Shakespeare he was not.

I watched as the servers brought out dessert. At Alice's request, Brady and Colin were serving in the private room. It seems that Bella had a bit of an inferiority complex when it came to pretty women, so our best servers, Jessica and Lauren, were working the dining room tonight instead of the private party.

If only she knew.

If only she knew that she was the last person who had to worry about Jessica and Lauren stealing her man.

If only she knew that later tonight, after everyone leaves, after they escort her father and his girlfriend back to their hotel room, after they promise Edward's mother and father they'll be on time tomorrow for Sunday brunch, after Edward respectfully brings his fiancée safely home and chastely kisses her goodnight, he'll come back here.

To me.

And together, we will share the $900 Cabernet that Jasper had gifted me earlier this evening. Then we'll share kisses that are not so chaste. I'll drop to my knees, slide his belt from around his waist, and then slide his cock into my mouth. He'll run his fingers though my hair and tell me how much he adores me as he comes down my throat. Afterwards, he'll bend me over a table and slide into me, whispering promises he can't keep into the darkness surrounding us. His hands will stroke me until I whimper his name while he drives himself deeper and deeper into my ass. And, when we're both sated, he'll kiss me and apologize and profess his undying love. He'll tell me stories of the future we'll have together "one day." And I'll pretend to believe him.

If only she knew.

* * *

Thanks to libbylou, shasta53, and cejsmom

Content Descriptors: Infidelity, slash  
Character Pairing: Edward/Riley


	5. Providence -- Challenge 6

Challenge Number/Title: #6 Inanimate POV  
Date Posted: March 24, 2013  
Fandom: Twilight  
Rating: M  
Genre: AH  
Content Descriptors: Humor, Sexuality  
Character Pairings: Edward & Bella, Emmett & Rose, Jasper & Alice

**Providence**

Today's situation was a first. I've certainly had fine asses on my cushions before. And Lord knows I've had plenty of crying women; the boys weren't, shall we say, subtle in their rejections. However, today there were three fine-assed, crying women upon my surface at the same time. Did I mention three?! My boys were in various stages of disbelief as the three girls they thought they'd never see again delivered the news that would change all of their lives forever.

Edward was pacing and pulling at his hair. Emmett was standing in shocked disbelief, his mouth hanging open dumbly. Jasper was banging his head on the post on the breakfast bar muttering to himself.

"But-but how? All three…?" That was Emmett. He wasn't the brightest of my boys, but he did recover quickly.

"We've lived together for almost five years, dumbass!" the blonde, Rose, hissed in reply as she gestured to the other two women sitting on my surface.

The answer was meaningless to Emmett, but caused Edward to stop in his tracks. He was a second year resident in Obstetrics and Gynecology, ironically enough. Jasper stopped banging his head with a final loud thump. He continued to mutter, however, mostly about how his mother was going to kill him.

Emmett still looked confused.

"When women live together, their cycles synch up," Edward explained.

His words caused the two darker haired women sitting on me to let out loud wails and hug each other while Rose glared at Emmett, who was still confused.

"They get their periods at the same time," Edward explained further, exasperatedly. He gestured at the women on the couch. "That means that they're fertile at the same time, too. Probably about three weeks ago." He mashed his lips into a grim line.

I can't believe I was the only one who saw this coming. Actually, I can. For as bright as my boys are, all three of them think with their dicks when it comes to the fairer sex.

Edward was right. It was three weeks ago when the series of events that led to this particular predicament started. The boys had promised each other a girl-free weekend. Bros before hoes and all that. Each had been dealing with a lot of crap at work and from recent hookups.

Oh yeah, the boys are manwhores. "Were," I guess, would be the better term.

_THREE WEEKS AGO_

_Jasper was frustrated. And, as Jasper was wont to do when he was frustrated, he was cleaning. I would swear that man was a woman if it weren't for the sheer number of girls he's fucked on me. It's scary. Everyone thinks that it's Edward who's the biggest player. They're wrong. Edward certainly has the most women looking to get with him, but he's picky. He can be since he never has to work for it. _

_Emmett, of course, talks a good game. He's loud and lacks a filter. It always seems like he's had the most women because he overshares. _

_But back to Jasper. Jasper was frustrated over his recent breakup. Well, breakups. He'd been seeing Bree and Maria. Speaking of fine asses…! Both of theirs had graced my surface several times over the past weeks. Never at the same time, alas. However, a timing snafu on Thursday had led to Bree walking out of the apartment just as Maria was walking in. Needless to say the scene was not pretty. _

_And Jasper was facing a weekend without female companionship. He couldn't remember the last time he'd been alone on a Saturday night._

_Anyway, Jasper had pulled me away from the wall to dust, vacuum, and wipe down the baseboard when he came across a sealed box of Magnums that had been dropped and unceremoniously kicked underneath me quite some time ago. Quite. Some. Time. Ago._

_Jasper snorted, picked up the box and dropped it on the coffee table. There it sat until the next night when Emmett noticed it a few hours before the guys were ready for a night downtown. Instead of the usual club, they'd planned a boys' night at a local pub. The plan was burgers and beer. No broads. _

_Yeah right._

_Emmett broke open the seal on the box and pulled out one of the condoms. He slipped it in his pocket as insurance. You know…just in case._

_Edward was next. He frowned when he saw the box sitting on the coffee table and then cursed Emmett under his breath. See, Eddie had purchased a box of Magnums at the drug store on Wednesday along with the fuckton of hair products necessary to keep his coif under control. When he got home, the condoms weren't in the bag. He figured they fell out. Upon seeing the opened box on the table, he assumed that Emmett found them and helped himself to one._

_The Magnums he'd bought had fallen out of the bag, by the way, but that was in the car on the ride home, not in the house. Edward found them under the front seat a week later._

_Edward brought the box with the remaining two condoms into his room and left them on the dresser._

_Once Jasper got home, the guys washed up and headed to BD's, a local pub, for the aforementioned beer and burgers. _

_And despite their best intentions, broads came into play._

_It was no surprise when two hours after they left, the door to the apartment crashed open and Emmett and some hot blonde came stumbling into the living room. They barely managed to maintain their upright positions as they attempted to suck off each other's faces. I have to hand it to Emmett. He works fast. Before they made their way to his room, Emmett managed to pop open the blonde's blouse. She laughed as he buried his face between her tits._

_Jasper was the next one home. The physical disparity between him and the woman who entered with him would have been comical if it wasn't abundantly clear that she had a personality that could not be contained in her mere five foot nothing frame._

_Alice was my personal favorite. She and Jasper never made it past me except for Jasper's quick sprint into Edward's room to grab a condom from the fateful box._

_It was a good two hours after Alice and Jasper conked out on me, cuddled up underneath he afghan, that Edward waltzed in with Bella. It was obvious she was under his spell, the way she clung to his arm and gazed into his eyes. Interestingly enough, Edward seemed to be equally smitten. The two of them were completely oblivious to the naked couple sleeping on my cushions._

_They made their way to Edward's bedroom, whispering to one another and exchanging infatuated looks._

_The next morning, the boys made the ladies breakfast and offered their farewells. The scene was nothing new. I'd watched dozens of women take the walk of shame. However, this time the boys were unusually quiet after the girls left. There was no exchanging of raunchy details, no good-natured ribbing, no snide comments. Jasper even asked Edward and Emmett if they'd see the girls again._

"_Nah," Edward said with a shrug and a look at the door where he'd last seen her. Emmett's mouth just twisted into a frown. _

_Jasper didn't push them for explanations. He was missing Alice as well._

TWO HOURS AGO

Emmett answered the door when the bell rang. Hurricane Rose shoved Emmett out of the way and stalked into the living room. Emmett frowned at her forceful entry, but didn't protest. He glanced at the open door to see Alice and Bella, who were obviously distraught, waiting in the hall. He gestured them in and closed the door behind them.

The three women huddled together for a moment before Rose finally spoke.

"Where are the other two?" she demanded.

Emmett didn't answer. Rose rolled her eyes before taking a threatening step towards Emmett and repeating her query. Loudly.

"Where are they?"

Emmett snapped out of his stupor and called out, "E? Jazz?"

A moment later, Edward and Jasper joined the party in the living room.

"Alice?" Jasper was as surprised as Emmett by their guests.

"Hi, Bella," Edward said quietly, curiosity on his face. "Won't you sit down?" He gestured towards my surface.

All three ladies took the invitation and settled down. Like I said, nice asses.

As if on cue, once the three women sat down, they burst into tears. The guys' expressions changed from curiosity to bewilderment. Jasper grabbed a clump of paper napkins off the breakfast bar and handed them to the ladies.

"Geez! What's wrong?" Emmett practically shouted at the trio. He was completely unnerved by the scene before him.

All three girls began talking, as they sobbed. Nothing they said was intelligible.

Shaking his head, Edward approached Bella, who was sitting on the end. He kneeled down before the woman who'd been on his mind the past three weeks and tried to speak to her.

"Bella?"

Alice and Rose quieted down, though tears were still flowing freely.

Bella tried to speak through the gasping sobs.

"I…I…I'm…."

"Jasper, get Bella a glass of water."

Jasper snapped to and quickly brought over three glasses of water. He put the water on the coffee table and backed away.

Edward handed Bella a glass. She took it and drank quickly. When she lowered the glass, Edward took it from her hand and placed it back on the table. Bella nodded her thanks.

Taking a deep breath, she cleared her throat. Looking at Edward she blurted out, "I'm pregnant." Her announcement was met with renewed sobs from the other two women and a startled gasp from Emmett. Jasper covered his mouth with his hand and stood silently.

Edward didn't respond. He was still kneeling before Bella, a dazed look on his face.

It was Emmett who broke the silence. "Uh, that's ummm…. Uh."

"Shut up, you idiot!" Rose cried. "I'm pregnant, too!"

"What?!" At least Emmett wasn't stunned into silence, though his response was sorely lacking. His response broke Edward from his stupor. He stood up and began to pace, head down, fingers grasping onto his hair.

"Me, too!" wailed Alice.

Like I said before, I can't believe I was the only one who could see this coming. Those Magnums Jasper found had expired over a year ago. None of them broke during use, but their integrity was compromised, allowing just enough little swimmers to sneak through and accomplish their missions.

But not even I could see what would come to pass. Nineteen years after the girls made their announcements, I was being pulled out of storage. See, Edward, Emmett, and Jasper's sons were in need of a couch for the condo their parents bought them near the university they'd all be attending in the fall.

"I can't believe we're giving this couch to our boys," Alice laughed. Jasper chuckled in agreement.

"What's the big deal about this old couch?" Elizabeth, Edward and Bella's middle child, asked.

"J.J. was conceived on it," Emmett, the over-sharer explained. Rose smacked the back of his head.

"Ew! Mom!" J.J. complained.

Alice shrugged. "It's this or you can sit on the floor."

J.J. grumbled, but wandered off to join his best friends, Harry and Anthony, without further complaint.

"That's the last of it," Edward declared, as he turned and locked up the storage unit. "Who's ready for dinner?"

A loud chorus of "Me! Me! Me!" arose from the small crowd standing in the parking lot of the U-Store.

Between them, my boys had eight offspring.

All with the women they'd accidently knocked up that fateful night.

Providence, I'd say.

* * *

Thanks to cejsmom & shasta53


End file.
